Easy button

I've thrown myself a lot of pity parties over the past few years, playing single mom while Scot is gone either training for war or doing it for real. Most of the time I wish I could wear some sort of sign on my back that explains why I am by myself with 2 kids in "x" where x equals grocery store, Target, post office, Panera, etc., etc. Why, when one (or both) is crying, that I don't have the patience to console her in that moment. Maybe it's the 10th time she's cried like that that day and there is no reason. Or maybe it's because she's sick and I don't have a choice but to take her out with me. Or maybe it's because I did my job and said no and she's not going to get her way. Or maybe it's because I'm too busy thinking about Scot and whether or not he's safe.

It doesn't matter, I feel the judgment all the time. And part of me wants to pick a fight before it starts (the disapproving looks). Head them off with a "Look, my husband is deployed. When was the last time you thought about the war? Give me a break."

But over time I've come to realize that my situation isn't anything special. People have problems. And really hard times. Mine aren't any worse than say...my dear friend who just lost her mom to cancer...another friend who lost the love of her life in a confusing breakup...an acquaintance who suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks. Women who are single moms all the time.

Maybe we all should get to have an "easy" button like the commercials. You get to wear it when you're going through an agonizing time and people would (should) just know to cut you some slack.

Today was different, though. Today someone was my "easy" button.

On this Memorial Day morning, I got the girls dressed in some patriotic gear and we walked over to Panera for some breakfast. I love that we can walk to Panera. But boy, I have a beast of a stroller. It's impossible to navigate through the double door entrance. But a woman opened the door for me, 2 doors for me. I thanked her profusely. We made our way over to the register, ordered some muffins, a fruit cup, and a coffee for me. As we were waiting for my coffee, a man (he was probably about 55) was making eyes at Reese and waving at her. I smiled. Ava whispered, "Mom, he's wearing a bracelet like Daddy". He laughed and asked me what she said about him. I pointed to his yellow Live Strong bracelet and told him that she said he was wearing the same bracelet as her dad. Then he walked over and gave Ava 2 dimes and a quarter "for college". She was awestruck (literally speechless) and I thanked him. My coffee came up and we made our way over to a table near the entrance. A different middle-aged man walked right in front of Ava, which caused him to stumble a little and so he huffed over to a table. I got the eyes from another table of 3 elderly people, not pleased about having us as their new neighbors.

We ate muffins and fruit. Ava was very well-behaved. Reese was a little whiny, but good for the most part. I considered it a successful outing.

I cleaned up the table and we started to make our way towards the doors. The man with the money for Ava jumped up and went to push open the doors for me. I was overcome with gratefulness. I was planning on stopping by his table anyway to thank him for being so nice to us and here he was doing it again. I told him how much I appreciated that he was being so thoughtful - I added that my husband was deployed and it really meant that much more to me for him to reach out to us, even by these simple things. I started to get the wavery teary voice and he gave me a hug. He thanked me for my husband's service and assured me he would come home safely.

He said he was just a "people person" and he liked to do something nice for at least one person each day. I told him he picked the right person. We parted ways and then he said "You made my day!" But it was he who made my day. I haven't stopped thinking about this exchange all day, it was exactly what I needed. Especially today - Memorial Day. And he reminded me of my late father-in-law Gardy, who was the same type of "people person". An angel in the right place at the right time, perhaps.

So, it was an emotional day for me, thinking about my amazing husband and how proud I am of him, even though the selfish "pity party" part of me wants him home and not a world away.